i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
