I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
