You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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