Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
