is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
