My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
