VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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