oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
