What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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