You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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