His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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