I'm jealous of your bromance
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
