Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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