I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
