If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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