So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
