i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
