I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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