First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
