You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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