I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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