Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
