Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
