i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
