That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
