WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
