plz talk dirty to me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize