why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
