Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
