I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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