i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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