He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
