I will die if light touches me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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