pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
