So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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