Yo dont text me then not text me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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