"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
