I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
