I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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