Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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