I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
