so let's talk penis.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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