I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
