Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize