There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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