do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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