I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Boobs speak an international language.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize