The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
