The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I would fuck him just for his dog
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
