he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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