it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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