she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
