i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
