none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
