apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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