Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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