you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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