Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
