there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize