hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
