I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
