my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
