Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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