No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
