How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
