The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
