i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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