We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
