"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
