the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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