my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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