Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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