take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
