bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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