Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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