this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
