I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
