maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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