so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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