Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
