I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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