clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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