i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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