escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
