He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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